Happy Birthday Zahra !

I made this post several months ago and forgot to put it on blogger -,- 


When I was sixteen, I refused to have birthday. 
I know how ridiculous it sounds, but at some point, you will tired of growing up, and for me, sixteen is the point. 

The fifteen years before, I've been always looked forward for my birthday. I don't expect any parties, or celebration or things, but changing, having a new year with feeling, that was great. 

But then when I was sixteen, I was tired of growing up. I want to stop growing up and I hope that I will never growing up. I hoped that Peter Pan will somehow took me from my house and sent me to Neverland. Imaginary, but I still remember those days when I even prayed to God that it will happen. 

But my friends, as lovely and as fun they are, refused to gave up my birthdays and always came up with birthday cakes on my birthday, or several days after. And they never fail me to cry. 

to cry upon their kindness 
to cry upon their attention 
and to cry upon my growing up status. 

I was happy, but I still don't understand why we should grow up. 

Years after, I was getting my 18 birthday this June 
I didn't look for it, as always, but I know that my friends will never fail me. they will came up with something to celebrate my birthday, eventhough i neglected theirs *such a bad friend I am* 

I was busy with burying myself with loads of works at that time, and I even get ready for another work : perpisahan's preparation and the fact that June will be my last month with friends as high school student. 

But then as fairy as my friend is, they came up with cake. And if I didn't mind the presence of people around *crush, ehm*   i would have some kind of breakdown, screaming in both despair and joyfulness. 

why i have a great friend like you all ? 
why you still care for me ? 
Even i stopped care for myself. 
why do i have birthday ? 



I have to keep talking or else I will have some breakdown so I keep asking them where did they bought that ? and they didn't answer me. I notice that some of them are laughing at the cake *in friendly way, though* but I don't mind. You could get me a mud cake, and I won't mind *i will mind if you force me to eat it, though* Every cakes are beautiful, believe me.

We ended up taking photos, as a reminder.

I still don't expect my birthday. But if there is something, the answer why God created birthday, it must be this : 

cakes. 

Cakes give you togetherness, cakes bring you together, cakes smashed you together.

days later i found out that they made the cake. THEY MADE THE CAKE. 

I sobbed, literally. 

I had a bunch of great friends and I still mourning upon my birthday. 

And it sounds like somewhere a fairy godmother sing me a lullaby 

 See my darling, life is short 

no cry no grief upon birthday 

birthday might kill you 

birthday my turn you down 

but birthday bring you your awesome friends 

(i know its not a lullaby) 

Thank you, from deep down there I said thank you

-z-